


Simple Math

by koolmcr



Category: The Last of Us (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Coming Out, Crushes, F/F, Father-Daughter Relationship, First Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, Lesbian Character, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Secret Crush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:16:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28952544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koolmcr/pseuds/koolmcr
Summary: It's hard being an orphan in a new town with only her adoptive dad to talk to. But Ellie's slowly learning who she is and how to be, in between trying to deal with her past and live through her present. It sucks that she's still gotta go to class on top of all of that, though.
Relationships: Cat/Ellie (The Last of Us), Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us), Dina/Jesse (The Last of Us), Ellie & Joel (The Last of Us), slight Ellie/Riley
Comments: 7
Kudos: 39





	1. Caution

**Author's Note:**

> Gonna see where this goes. Hopefully my fingers can keep up with my brain. It'll get real sometimes, and sappy. probably mostly sappy. hopefully it's alright. For my girlfriend, who loves me even though i've been obsessively writing the past few days

Jackson was an okay town. Small. Way smaller than Boston. But Ellie didn't really care either way. There's a whole world underneath her pencil, inside her headphones blaring. Her actual home's in there, not wherever she'd been thrown around to in her fifteen years of life. Her foundation was lead and wires, walls made of reflective disks and yellow painted wood.

Her mother's switchblade is stabbed into the desk next to her, its blade glinting with the dull beige of the soft string lights in her room and drawing small beams onto the paper by itself. She welcomes them into the lead world, accommodating their shapes with her own.

Ellie'd never met her mom, she died not too long after her birth. All she had of her was the knife and a letter asking to make her proud. Ellie was trying, but not as hard as she probably should've.

The gruff voice in her headphones sings about how healing takes some time.

Dead mom, no dad, bouncing around foster and group homes. At some point her mom's old friend Marlene came into the picture with money and sent her to some boarding military school place. But that didn't end up so well. And Marlene disappeared.

But then there was Joel, so things got better.

As she drew metal horses and lights with the shadow of girl, the old man invited himself in her room. He never fucking knocks. She ignores him.

"Hey, Ellie."

Nothing.

So he comes up and knocks her chair with his foot.

"You in there, kiddo?"

She rips her headphones out and gives him a sharp look. "Sorry, I was kinda doing something."

"Ah. I just wanted to talk with ya, see where you're at."

"Well, I'm here. Right in front of you. As you can see."

He rolls his eyes.

"Alright. I mean how're things? School treatin' you okay so far?"

No, not really. But, she doesn't want to make big thing out of nothing. Nothing she can't handle.

"Yeah, it's fine."

"Makin' any friends?"

"C'mon, Joel. We've only been here a week."

"I know, I know. I just wanna make sure you're alright. Not gettin' into trouble."

Ellie gives him a sarcastic salute. "No, sir."

He grimaces a little bit and runs his hand through his hair.

"Did you come in here just for that?"

"Jesus, kiddo. What's got your goat?"

"I was drawing and you interrupted me!"

He steps away and sighs. "Well then, I guess you're not in the mood for the surprise I gotcha."

Ellie perks up, just a little.

"What is it?"

"Nah. I think my feelings are a lil' hurt."

"Aw, Joel, I'm sorry. C'mon! What you got for me?" She's bouncing on the back of her chair, reaching out to poke his arm.

"Alright, since you apologized. Wait here."

Joel walks out of the room slightly, reaching for something just outside the door. When he moves back in, he produces a huge guitar. It looks bigger than Ellie. Her are eyes wide and mouth agape, taking it in.

"What's that?"

He smiles. "Well, some folks call this here a _gee-tar_."

She smiles back. He's stupid.

"I know that. But why?"

"Well I told ya I was gon' teach you how to play, didn't I?"

"I guess you did, yeah."

"Wanna start your first lesson?"

She totally does. But the clock next to her bed bleeds close to midnight in pixels.

"I dunno. It's late and I have school tomorrow."

Joel rubs his beard, then a spark hits his eyes.

"Well, I'll play somethin' for ya. So you can hear how she sings."

He sits on the edge of her bed as she shifts in her desk chair to face him. His fingers slide over the wood and strings, pressing down and picking, clearing his voice a little before he starts to sing.

* * *

It's probably bad that she doesn't go to sleep until four in the morning, just staring and admiring her new guitar. Well, new to her. Joel said he found it in a thrift store in town, gave it some love and care and new strings. But it's so beautiful. She touches the strings and tries to sketch every ridge in them in her notebook, careful not to wake up the old man with her fingers making accidental twangs.

She wakes around six, her eyes feeling like blast craters.

Joel's downstairs with a coffee in hand as he watches the news. "Hey, kiddo. You sleep alright?"

"Yup." She puts her shoes on.

"I'll probably get back from work around four. I gotta drop Tommy off to his place, Maria's got the car today. We can start your lesson then."

"Alright, sounds good."

"You want anything to eat before you head off?"

"Nah."

He frowns. But it isn't like she eats breakfast anyway. He knows that.

"Alright."

Ellie throws her bookbag over one shoulder and feels her pockets to make sure she's got everything.

"Okay, I'm out. See you later. Love you."

"Love you too, baby girl. Have a good day."

The fall air is a little crisp as she closes the front door behind her. She doesn't live close enough to walk and enjoy the changing leaves, so she crosses the street and walks a block to the bus stop. For a small town, Jackson's got a lot of schools. Probably because it's boarded by even tinier towns, towns not big enough for their own schools. Those kids gotta go to school somewhere.

She presses play on her CD player as she walks, imagining she's in a movie and the trusty chords are soundtracking her trek. There's a tall, long haired boy smoking a cigarette when she gets to the stop. He nods at her.

It's the same old routine. Get on, look out the window, drum along to whatever song she's listening to with her feet, get off, go to her locker, then to home room. God, she's only been here a week. She'll probably be here until she goes to college. Her eyes are burning with the sleep she didn't get as she shuffles down the hall. All she wants to do is go home and nap and play that guitar. But then some jackass walks into her.

"Yo! Watch where you're going, dyke."

"Excuse me?"

He has sandals and socks on, a stud in his ear. An ugly look on his face, but that might just be how his face always is. Ellie doesn't know.

"Dyke." A sneer, a challenge.

Her face is hot, her eyebrows pressing down so hard over her eyes that they start to ache. Her nose scrunches. She moves directly in front of him with anger every cell of her body. "You wanna fucking go?"

He's about to say something when a girl with thick black hair whirls behind him, coming to Ellie's side.

"Hey, you said you'd meet me before homeroom. You wanted some notes?"

"What?"

"The English notes? The test is tomorrow, girl."

Her dark brown eyes have a plead in them, but the idiot boy doesn't seem to notice.

"You know her, Dina?"

"Yeah, we sit next to each other in Mr. Vaughan's class."

Ellie feels confused.

"Come on, we're gonna be late." This Dina girl pulls at her bag's loose strap, ushering her down the hall.

"Hey, text me later D!"

"Maybe!"

When they get out of range, Ellie stops and moves to the side of the congesting hall. "What was that about?"

The girl frowns and faces her. "I heard what he called you. I thought that I'd save you. He's a fucking a-hole."

"I can handle myself, thanks."

"If you say so. I'm Dina, by the way."

"Ellie."

Dina smiles. "Yeah, I recognize you. You _are_ in my English class...and we _do_ have a test tomorrow. You all caught up on Oedipus?"

Her eyebrows are so thick, so expressive. The curve of her nose is perfect as a stray lock of hair falls to the side of it, over her eye before she pushes it behind her ear. How did Ellie not notice this girl before? She's probably been too busy drawing in class. Maybe she should slow down on that.

"I guess."

"Well, if you want someone to study with, lemme know. Find me around."

And then she leaves, the air behind her smelling of vanilla. Ellie stands and breathes it in until the bell rings.


	2. Paper Thin

She spends the rest of the day in a haze; staring at nothing in class, tacked onto the end of a random lunch table and drawing instead of eating. _Watch where you're going, dyke_ keeps entering her thoughts, and maybe she softly repeats it to herself a few times as she walks through the halls with the harshness of the last word clicking in the back of her mouth. Hopefully no one hears her and thinks she's talking to them. Dina catches her eye and waves at her when she shuffles into English class. 

Ellie's sure that girl's smile can light up the whole planet when the sun burns out. 

When she gets home, she's nearly asleep on her feet. She flops into bed with her jeans still on and dreams. Until the old man stirs her for dinner.

"What time is it?" She says in the middle of a yawn.

"'Bout seven. You were out cold when I tried to get ya for your lesson."

"Shit! I'm sorry, Joel. Can we still do it after dinner? Please?"

He smiles and ruffles her hair a little bit. "Sure thing, kiddo. Wash up."

The food on her plate is gone ten minutes later. Pretty okay for a kid who didn't eat all day. She gets up and nearly breaks her plate in the sink when she drops it in. "C'mon! C'mon c'mon c'mon. Let's go, Joel!"

"Ellie, it's not gonna kill ya to wait 'til I finish."

"You don't know that. I might die of old age since you take so damn long!"

Joel continues to chew his broccoli, slower than normally. It makes Ellie groan. He chuckles.

"Get the guitar and noodle around with it out here. I can teach and eat, I s'pose."

She runs to her room and grabs the brown and black guitar, still huge, but she knows she'll get used to the size. She sits back at the table, holding the guitar on her knee. 

"Alright. I wanna get you knowin' the basics. See the sections with the metal lines between them? Those're the frets."

"God, Joel. I wasn't born yesterday. Teach me to play a song!"

"Kiddo you don't even know how to play a chord yet. One thing at a time."

"Well what better way to learn than playing a song?"

He sighs, mouth full. Still chewing impossibly slow. Ellie's vibrating in her seat.

"What about a punk song? Have you ever heard of the saying 'three chords and the truth'? One of those should be easy. It's only three chords, Joel!"

"Alright, alright." He's gotta learn to slow her down sometimes. It ain't easy being a dad again. After 20 years of... _not_. He swallows another bite. "You heard of the Ramones?"

" _Duh_."

Joel decides he's finished, wiping his hands on his jeans. "Give 'er here. I got one that's a little more than three. I'm gonna play you through once. Then I'll have you do it, okay?"

He clears his throat and starts strumming. "See where my fingers are? That's a D." He moves his hand and his fingers look contorted, uncomfortable. "This one's a G, alright? Then we got the A."

Ellie recognizes the song, of course he picks the one Ramones' song that doesn't rip. 

"I want you arou- _ound_ ," she singsongs. "Where'd you pick this one up, old man? That's a bit romantic."

There's a pause and he lets out a heavy breath. Uh oh. She realizes she probably went into thin ice territory. She frowns with regret, but Joel speaks up. "Sarah's mom. I, uh, learned it for her. Sang it for her."

Ellie nods. And Joel keeps playing. She doesn't interrupt him again. By the end of the night, she can stumble through the song with constant pauses. But she's fucking playing the guitar, so that's all that matters. 

* * *

"How you think you did?"

Ellie's got five minutes before the bus leaves. She doesn't want to talk about that stupid fucking test with...Dina. Oh.

"Probably okay. You?"

"Knowing my luck, I probably just scraped by. You never took me up on studying. I probably could've used your help." Dina winks.

"Oh. Sorry." She looks at the clock. Three minutes. "I gotta go. I'm gonna miss my bus."

"I can give you a ride home if you want. Or, actually, my boyfriend can. Since it's his car."

Ellie's heart sinks and she doesn't really know why. Maybe because she doesn't want to socialize? She'd really rather ride home on the bus with her headphones in, trying to imagine how hard it'd be to learn the songs she loves. Not be trapped in a car with a girl she barely knows and a boy she doesn't.

But she's not gonna fucking make the bus now. And she doesn't want to walk six miles. 

"Uh. Sure."

And with that, Ellie finds herself in the backseat of a too nice car for a high school kid. It's kind of weird that Dina's in the back seat with her, not up in the front with...what was his name? Jesse?

"When'd you come to Jackson?" He asks, trying to catch her eye through the rear-view. She just looks out the window.

"A little over a week ago. My, uh, dad wanted to move closer to my aunt and uncle. So here we are."

"Cool."

She feels a little bit carsick. They wind down the streets, listening to the radio. Dina and Jesse talking, despite the awkward angle. When they get to Ellie's house, Dina gets out of the car with her. Probably to get in the front seat. But instead she stops Ellie.

"Let me give you my number. You should sit with me at lunch tomorrow. Jesse's in a different period, so I don't really have anyone to talk to."

No? How is that possible? This girl is a bubblegum pink bubble, how does she not have a whole group to sit with at lunch? Ellie feels uncomfortable and awkward. Like there's a spotlight on her. It's too hot. 

"Okay."

Dina finishes putting her number into Ellie's phone. She dumbly takes it from the girl's hand. "Thanks for the ride." She nods at Jesse, he puts up a hand to wave.

"Jesse lives pretty close, it looks like. You should ask him to take you in in the mornings!"

"I don't know..."

Then Dina's opening the passenger door, sliding in. "See you tomorrow, El!"

She flinches at the nickname. Too personal. 

When she walks in and puts down her bag, she finds Joel sitting at the kitchen table whittling at some small piece of wood. Guess he didn't have to work today. 

"Hey, kiddo. Who was that droppin' ya off?"

"Some girl from my English class's boyfriend."

"That was mighty kind of 'im."

"I guess." She kicks her Chucks off, making her way to the fridge. 

"Think I'll be seein' more of that car?"

Ellie rolls her eyes. Why is he so bent on her making friends? What's so great about friends? All they do is leave. Then you have no friends and end up right where you started. 

"I don't know." 

* * *

_Hey girl! it's Dina_

The vibration catches her off guard. No one texts her. She puts down the guitar, small lines dented into her fingers. They ache. 

_Hey_

_What are you up to?_

_Playing guitar._

_What! thats so cool you didn't tell me you could play guitar_

What time would she have had to do that in the 15 whole minutes of conversation they've had? Ellie sets the phone down and picks the guitar back up. There's another vibration and it makes her eyes scrunch, leaning over her guitar to check the phone. 

_What bands do you like?_

She sighs. She hates this question. Bands no one her age has heard of, not even in Boston let alone Bumfuck, Nowhere, but she doesn't want to seem like a fucking hipster or snob. But she doesn't want to ignore the question or give a non answer. That's even _more_ hipster and snobbish. It's just easier to take a picture of what's in her CD player and send it than put it into words. 

_Thats real retro girl! how come you dont listen to music on your phone_

_I don't know. Just don't. I like not looking at a screen all the time._

_I hear that. what kind of music does hot water music play_

_Punk rock I guess._

_whats your fav song by them?_

_That's like picking your favorite..I dunno, sibling. Child. Whatever. I can't pick._

_Well tell me a song i should listen to and ill look it up_

She picks a safe one for her and sends her a link to it, before setting her phone on silent and going back to practicing the song Joel taught her. Her heart's not in it like it was five minutes ago. Goddamnit. Her fingers press and slap at random strings as she tries to get her thoughts back together. But she's nervous. Does Dina like the song she sent? Will she think she's weird? She flips the phone back in her hands and checks to see if there's a response, but there's nothing. She turns the whole thing off and staggers up and into the bathroom, turning on the shower. Something to distract her. Phones can't shower. The whole time her heart feels like a little needle's been poked into it, and that she's bleeding a little part of herself onto the floor for everyone to see. Well, at least for Dina to see. 

* * *

There's a quick honk outside as she's stepping into her Chucks the next morning. She looks out the window to see Jesse's car, th e boy himself looking down at his phone. 

Joel's gotten up to look out the window, too. "They givin' you a ride again?"

Ellie grimaces and puts her bag over one shoulder like usual. "I'll see you later. Love you."

"Love you too, Ellie."

She has a tight look on her face all the way to the driver's side window, where she knocks. 

"Hey, how come you're here?"

"Dina said you needed another ride? I live like, down the street. It's no prob." He runs a hand through his dark hair. It's pretty much a mullet. 

"Uh, sure."

Ellie walks around to get into the passenger's side, puts her bag at her feet, and shuts the door. As they back out of the driveway, she can see Joel looking through the window at them. It makes her slide down in her seat a little bit. 

"Hey, we gotta pick up D too."

"Okay."

They ride in near silence, apart from the radio. They're close to the school when Jesse pulls into the driveway of a small brick house and honks. He looks down at his phone again. Ellie pretends to be interested in the brown leaves on the ground. It takes ten whole minutes for Dina to emerge from the front door, waving at Ellie through the glass of the windshield as she moves towards the back door. 

"Hey guys, sorry about that. Talia was having a whole thing and I had to help her, blah blah blah."

"Babe, you could've just walked instead of making me and Ellie late."

She taps the back of his head. "Yeah, but then I wouldn't have seen you until two!" 

He guffs and backs out onto the road. Dina turns to Ellie. "Oh, El, you didn't respond to me last night. I liked the song you sent! It was intense."

Ellie blushes and feels carsick again. "Sorry, I had to help my...dad, with something." 

"What song was it?"

Oh great, now Jesse's judgement has to come down. She wants to jump out of the car. 

"Where's the aux chord? I'll put it on."

It's probably not safe to rummage and drive, but Ellie's not brave enough to continue on that impulse of jumping out of the car. Though it'd probably be a little less damaging than getting into an accident. Maybe. 

The song starts buzzing through the speakers at a low volume. "Turn it up!" Dina reaches for the controls from the back, and the guitar blares as the drums and bass kick in. The singer's not as gruff as he sings about standing together with no division. It ends as they pull into the school. Perfect.

Ellie opens the door just as Jesse parks, yanking her bag onto her shoulder. 

"I gotta do something before homeroom. I'll see you guys." She walks off without waiting for a response, way too fast to be acting cool. Or normal. 

* * *

She wants to fucking die. She does. All of her morning classes are spent making angry lines, drawing nothing but the hurt inside of her. She doesn't even know why she's upset. Dina liked the song, didn't she? Maybe she was just trying to make Ellie comfortable, be nice to her, put on the music she liked on the drive to school. But then Jesse was there and now he has thoughts! About the song, about her because she likes the song. Ellie felt pitied. Which made her feel angry. She was just a fucking new kid again and this girl is trying to be nice and she hates it. She doesn't _want_ to be the new kid, she doesn't _want_ some girl feeling sorry for her. She wants to disappear. 

The waves crash inside of her, angry rain stabbing into a headache, when Dina waves her down on the way to the cafeteria. "Hey, Ellie. You good? You kinda ran off this morning."

She's too angry, she doesn't understand why this girl wants to be friends in the first place. Ellie's just a stupid jackass who runs off for no fucking reason because talking about her favorite band embarrasses her. She's a freak. 

"Sorry. Didn't mean to. Just had some paper to hand in."

"I get that. Come on, let's go to the table."

It'd be too mean to turn her down. Ellie doesn't want to be mean. So she follows the girl to a mostly empty half of a table, only occupied by another girl. She's chewing absentmindedly while she reads a book. It's full of detailed illustrations from what Ellie can glance at. 

"Hey, Cat. This is Ellie. Ellie, Cat."

"Oh hey, you're in my art class, right?"

Even in the class she does pay attention to, she doesn't recognize anyone. Idiot. She nods hoping it's the correct answer. Cat seems to read her mind. 

"Don't worry. It's first period and everyone's asleep, anyway. I don't know what sadist schedules fucking art class at 7:30am."

"That's some real torture, but I got math first period so maybe you're actually the lucky ones." Dina giggles a bit, and turns to Ellie. "I'm gonna go get in line. You coming, El?"

"Nah, I got something from home." She doesn't. She really only eats dinner and that's her one meal a day. 

"Okay. I'll be back."

Dina walks off, leaving the other two girls. Ellie slithers down onto the bench of the table, pulling out her notebook and a pencil. At least this other girl can probably get that she doesn't want to talk. 

"Do you actually have something to eat?"

Ellie looks up at Cat, who's looking at her with dark brown eyes and a cocked eyebrow. Her black hair in a bob, bangs hanging tight over her forehead. Ellie shakes her head. 

"You want some of mine? My mom's an alright cook." 

"No. I'm not hungry."

Cat shrugs and gets back to her book. 

The lines continue to be shapeless and angry in Ellie's notebook. Sharp angles, the dull point of her pencil nearly ripping the paper beneath it. Out of the corner of her eye, Dina walks up and takes a seat next to her. This girl doesn't quit. 

"Oh, great. Now I have two people who'd rather do something else except talk!" She whines, opening the bottle of iced tea in front of her. 

"Mmm. Maybe you should find a hobby like me and Ellie, then." Cat chews through her words. Ellie frowns. It's kinda rude to talk and eat. 

"What, do you want me to knit? Should we get one of the band girls to sit with us so we have all of our creative bases covered? Or should Ellie bring in her guitar some days to switch it up?"

That makes Ellie freeze and glare down at the paper in front of her. Can't Dina keep anything to herself? Why does she keep sharing all these things about her with strangers? Why'd _Ellie_ share all this stuff with a stranger?

"Oh sweet, you play? You know any songs?"

She can't stay silent for long without making a scene. She knows it. Time to swallow her frustration down. She looks up, noticing the warm look in Cat's eyes framed by long eyelashes. It gives her a little bit of a soft feeling. 

"Not really. I just got it two days ago."

"You should learn some Ramones songs. Those're easy. My mom taught me some."

Ellie's insides perk up, the cloud of her emotions calming, the downpour subsiding into a drizzle. "Jo-my dad, he's teaching me one right now actually. 'I Want You Around'."

Cat smiles and Ellie feels the cloud getting lighter and fluffier. "That's a good one. You see the movie that's from?"

" _Rock 'n' Roll High School_? Like once. The DVD got all fucked up and we couldn't find another one of it. That song's so good though"

She continues to talk with Cat until the bell rings and they gather all their shit. Dina smiles at her and she forgets why she even felt bad in the first place.

"I'll see you in English, girl." 

"Bye!" 

The two dark haired girls walk off to another direction as Ellie hums to herself. She can't wait to get home and practice. But the ride there might not be so bad, either. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this might go a little slow. love letter to myself at 15. hot water music was my favorite band. cheesy, self-inserty, but it is what it is. Ellie's a punk rocker anyway. I haven't been to or inside of a high school for eight years so that's my personal point of reference for all this. I'm an old lady at 26.


End file.
